You are always manifesting

I am pretty sure that I had NO idea what manifesting was when I was 14. I did tell my mom that I was going to “go to work for a .com and make a bunch of money” which makes sense. Both of my parents (separately by then) were their own boss, and I saw how much that sucked: never having health insurance, a 401k or even paid sick time. I know that isn’t everyone’s experience, but I saw them both struggling and decided a paycheck was the way for me. I could see myself in a clean apartment, driving a car whenever I wanted, and the budget to freely purchase whatever I wanted or needed. To me, that was the goal.

Decades later, I realized: I did it! I have worked in the IT field for ~20 years, and although I am not rich, I have a heckuva lot more power than I did then. I drive the car I want, I pay for a nice place, and have had a say in my own choices this whole time. I recently heard someone say: “you are always manifesting. make sure it is what you want” and I really know that to be true. I had maybe accidentally created the life I wanted - the life I dreamed of as a kid, and now I honestly don’t love it.

I feel like I am living based on what is needed to take care of others - my son is 18 and now working towards making his own goals in life, and my husband is doing the same in his way. So, if I were to sit down now and look again, what is the life I want now? What are my goals, after having reached them - what is next? More abundance (like actually being out of debt, with some money in the bank for emergencies), a healthy body and lifestyle (blood sugar lower, better overall numbers, more muscle, less fat, and working out doing something I love to do to stay active, sweat, etc). Mostly, it’s a feeling - feeling free to do what I want in a day, like go for a hike or get on a boat or travel somewhere - to do yoga on the beach, or garden, I love gardening - and swimming. I want a life I love - and I am ready to create that, intentionally.

What do YOU want in YOUR life?